Home Alone

Hello again. I thought I’d write about this since a bit of stuff happened, but it’s gonna be weird writing about something that wasn’t a big event like the prom or a musical or a birthday, etcetera. I’ll manage, though.

Thursday, the 6th

Our parents had prepared me and my younger brother for taking care of the house when they were gone. See, they’d decided to go on a trip a couple towns over to spend some time off at the beach together. I personally think they should do it more, considering what I was able to do in their absence. They were going to be gone for around two days. The latter half of Thursday, the former half of Saturday, and the entirety of Friday.

Since I knew they’d be gone at least one entire day, I got to thinking about how I could utilize their absence, and, since my younger brother knows I’m trans, I decided the best thing to do was just be myself for a day. A whole day to dress how I want, act how I want, talk how I want, and ultimately, just be myself, all around the house, or the yard, or anywhere else I wanted.

Unfortunately, the kitchen camera complicated things. A few years ago, my parents had installed a camera in the kitchen. It took several short videos every hour and had recently gained the ability to record audio. This made my idea a bit tricky to pull off. I’d need to somehow unplug it without being seen, or make up some excuse that made sense as for why I’d be unplugging my parents’ camera, something I was pretty sure they’d use quite a bit in a circumstance like this, being away from home and all. So for now, I left it alone.

As soon as my parents had left, I messaged Dixie and Karli and asked if they wanted to come over. It had been a while since we’d hung out since I had been very preoccupied with the 7th Street crowd the last couple months, but that was all the more reason to do so again.

Karli was the first to come over since Dixie was hanging out with some other friends at that point. We talked for a bit, but it was kind of awkward. I’ve always preferred hanging out with multiple people at a time instead of just one, since conversations just seem to flow easier from that for whatever reason. I showed Karli my CRT TV, but, like my younger brother, she heard this ringing noise that came from it, one which I can’t hear. Neither can my dad, mom, and older brother. Yet for some reason, my younger brother, Karli and Dixie (as I realized later) all could for whatever reason.

Eventually, Dixie negotiated a ride to my house from her mother and arrived just as Karli and I had finished watching “The Nightman Cometh” from It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia. Once she’d gotten there, the awkward tension instantly broke, as I knew it would. We got to play Jackbox, something I’d installed earlier this year to be played at my birthday party, something I never actually had since I kept delaying it.

Speaking of the fact that I never had that birthday party, this was actually the first time any friends had been over to my house since elementary school, considering I was homeschooled for its latter half, and middle school, so this was the first time I got to utilize anything I’d set up for my birthday party. One of which was a picture of Donald Trump above my bed that I’d put up as a replacement gag since cardboard cut-outs were too expensive. See, I was originally going to put a cardboard cut-out of my good friend Collin Pearson just in my closet, so when my friends came over, they’d be surprised at the random Collin if ever they or I opened the door.

Eventually though, Karli had to go and, since she was her ride home, take Dixie with her, leaving me to eat an entire pepperoni pizza by myself, which was actually concerningly easy. And once they were gone, I decided, screw it, and unplugged the camera. I thought I could use the excuse that I was trying to unplug and plug back in the router, but I accidentally unplugged the camera. Realizing the router didn’t turn off, I’d find its actual cord and unplug and plug it back in, forgetting I left the cord to the camera unplugged.

And now that the camera was off, I went up to my room to change.

Me posing in the bathroom Me looking horrified in the mirror
Me posing outside .5 photo of me

Friday, the 7th

The next day, I woke up bright and early, showered, shaved gratuitously, did my makeup and changed my clothes. It was… weird stepping out of the bathroom dressed like that. I’d never done it before considering the fact that my dad doesn’t even know I’m trans, and my mom isn’t the most accepting person in the world about it. I sort of had that anxious feeling all day that I had felt at prom, and I had to consistently reassure myself that they were gone for the day and that I’d be fine wearing it around the house.

Speaking of ‘it’, each individual piece of that outfit came from somewhere else.

Shirt

While getting ready for prom at Karli’s house earlier this year, her mom came over to us and asked if we wanted a couple clothes that didn’t fit Karli anymore, the shirt being one of them. I asked for it, despite the fact that, at the time, I didn’t think red looked good on me.

Pants

Probably the least interesting one of all of these stories. I got the pants from my parents. They’re just regular sweatpants, like the kind I always get.

Flower Pin

During a Beetlejuice JR rehearsal, tucked away backstage, I found, just laying on the ground, an old flower headband. It was cute so I grabbed it and took it home with me, eventually using it in tandem with the red sleeveless shirt I got from Karli’s to make this outfit.

Necklace

After asking Felix, the guy who played Barbara in Beetlejuice JR, if he had any unwanted jewelry, he said that he did and offered me a couple rings, and, of course, the pearl necklace, which I was given on the second dress rehearsal.

Bracelet

After meeting Tyler at Beetlejuice JR, he gave me a little beanie boo leopard with that pink bracelet with the stars and M on it around its neck. I liked the bracelet and now I wear it every now and again.

Eye Makeup

My younger brother and I were out on a walk a few months ago, when I decided I wanted to stop and get some makeup, and maybe clothes, at the pharmacy. Unfortunately, the clothes ended up sucking, but the makeup was good. And this outfit was, honestly, the first time I got to use it.

Bra

While getting ready for prom at Karli’s, I was struggling with the bra I had brought. See, I’d stolen it from my mom, but since she had a much narrower torso than I did, it really didn’t fit me. Seeing this, Karli offered to give me a bra of her own, and told me I could keep it. So I did and this is now the bra I use basically all the time.

Boobs

After years of stuffing bras with socks, I’d decided that it could look better, and turned to something I should’ve thought of in the first place: the completely round, semi-flexible objects we already owned, loofahs. And since then, I’ve always used them since they look surprisingly convincing.

While I loved the way I looked, the loofahs were scratching me and making me itch, so I came up with the solution of using bra pads (which I also stole from my mom) beneath them to prevent them from touching my skin directly, and it worked well for the most part.

Several times throughout the day, I’d just stop and stare at myself in the mirror. It was crazy to look at. It’s always really odd knowing I’m able to pass decently just using fake boobs and makeup, but it really does work. I was really, really happy that day. I got to just be Makenzie at home for once, instead of going around trying to be someone I’m really not anymore.

At one point, I decided I wanted to go outside in the shade and read some more House of Leaves, but the sun kept getting in my eyes. See, I have transition lenses on my glasses which makes them turn into sunglasses when exposed to bright light, but the issue with that is that it’s made my eyes too sensitive to light, and I don’t like how I look with glasses so that’s even worse. Considering this, I decided to instead go sunbathe and listen to the Lemon Demon album I got a couple months ago. Unfortunately, that fell through too, but mostly because of how hard it was to relax knowing that my parents could make a surprise trip back and I’d be outside, exposed, right where they could see me, and worse of all, have my ears muffled with music, and my eyes darkened for protection from the sun. So I might not even know they’re there at first. Of course, they didn’t come back early, but that feeling of worry never went away.

Saturday, the 8th

Yesterday, I told myself I’d vacuum my room and do the dishes before my parents got back. I did neither because I procrastinated too long. My parents got back at around noon, and I’d forgotten to plug the camera back in. Neither of them noticed of course, and I simply plugged it back in that night, but it was still a bit concerning in the moment. Nothing too crazy happened when they got back, but it did mean the end of my ability to be myself outside of my room, for a while at least. One positive is that I had taken my older brother’s full-length mirror to my room on Thursday, meaning I could now do makeup in my room and look at how my outfits looked in real time from now on.

This entry was written on the 9th of August, 2026.